I've just come to realise that the only way...the only, only way...for me ever to get a girl...would be to just give up on all my ideals on the subject and leave the whole thing to W. Of course, that would probably kick love out of the picture. Hmm...

I'm tempted. I really am. Because I know W won't fail me. He's not designed to fail. However...in light of the current situation...I really shouldn't be thinking about things like that right now...

Its just becoming clearer and clearer to me that while, with W's help, I might be able to get by in the world, possibly undetected by my enemies and/or merely tollerated by people, there's no way *I* will ever be able to find happiness. Not with my current personality and ideals. To change those would be to change the nature of me...which is as good as suicide.

Would I be considered selfish if I'd rather thw world burn instead of me suffering? Heh.