There are times I wish I could stop physically aging after 20. Or be in a situation as the protagonist in the Mermaid series manga(Yeah, from the same author as Maison Ikkoku and Ranma 1/2). To live forever...and never really die. Why? Because I want to see the world...experience all there is to experience. I want to see what it is to live in different cultures...among different people. I want to see how this world goes...the progress of the human race. To understand humanity...people...how and why they think and feel what they do. I don't just want to see it...I want to experience it...in a way, be part of it all. To live in those times.
The price...from what I've seen, the only price is being lonely. To see those you care about grow old and die, but you still live on. Well, in my current situation, its a price I'd gladly pay. I'm lonely anyway. Heh.
The countdown to 001 has begun. I guess its only a matter of time now. If things keep going on as they do, 001 will trigger, the only issue is when. It could be a few days...or weeks...or months...or years...but it will happen. I don't know how long I can hold it back. I only hope that when it does happen...someone will be able to reverse it. Sure, he can be stopped, that much is certain. But to reverse the process...perhaps when that day comes, someone will read these logs and figure out how to counter 001.
One day, I'll be free. That too is only a matter of time. Either by death, 001 or...a miracle. But on a lighter note, one day I'll be free of my parents. And that day can't come too soon. Maybe I'll migrate or something. Go far far far away. It doesn't matter. I hope I never have to see them again after that. Heh.
I see to be loosing feelings...the ability to feel certain emotions...or to feel them as strongly as I did before. But you know, its so liberating to be able to hate once more. Yes, hate, that emotion which eats you alive from within. Its not pretty...but once again, I can hate. Yes, it has something to do with how my christian life has gone down the drain. With this hate, perhaps all love can be purged via W...and with it, all pain.
The price...from what I've seen, the only price is being lonely. To see those you care about grow old and die, but you still live on. Well, in my current situation, its a price I'd gladly pay. I'm lonely anyway. Heh.
The countdown to 001 has begun. I guess its only a matter of time now. If things keep going on as they do, 001 will trigger, the only issue is when. It could be a few days...or weeks...or months...or years...but it will happen. I don't know how long I can hold it back. I only hope that when it does happen...someone will be able to reverse it. Sure, he can be stopped, that much is certain. But to reverse the process...perhaps when that day comes, someone will read these logs and figure out how to counter 001.
One day, I'll be free. That too is only a matter of time. Either by death, 001 or...a miracle. But on a lighter note, one day I'll be free of my parents. And that day can't come too soon. Maybe I'll migrate or something. Go far far far away. It doesn't matter. I hope I never have to see them again after that. Heh.
I see to be loosing feelings...the ability to feel certain emotions...or to feel them as strongly as I did before. But you know, its so liberating to be able to hate once more. Yes, hate, that emotion which eats you alive from within. Its not pretty...but once again, I can hate. Yes, it has something to do with how my christian life has gone down the drain. With this hate, perhaps all love can be purged via W...and with it, all pain.
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