I know full well what will happen if I lose my fight...and give in...let the world destroy the little that's left of me. In the past few months, both me and W have turned our attentions to crafting and perfecting skills and abilities...skills and abilities which would be W's to use when Command 001 triggered. All I've seen and experienced made me sad...if anything...for I've finally seen reality. It took time...but I've faced even that which I did not want to believe was true. The emotional stress of that, along with my ever pressing issues with God...caused me to resign myself to my fate. Command 001 became not an 'if', but a 'when'. After all, it is a dark world I live in...and why shouldn't all those who've tried to destroy me get their just rewards?
But I've been distracted. That's W's problem to deal with. If I had any confidence in my work on project W, I ought to leave those matters to W...after all, I created him...and though he is an imperfect being, created by an imperfect being, I should let him to what he was created to do. Instead, I should've focused on my own fight.
I have a right to be happy, just like everyone else. I have a right to live, not merely survive, just like everyone else. And more than anything, I have the right to fight for all that...for a life, more than just an existence. I have a right to make my own choices and not to have those choices forced upon me by those whose only desire in life is for control. More than anything, I have a right to be me. THAT is my fight.
I've never really understood why so many have come against me in the past. I never sought those confrontations, its always been someone else trying to hurt me, break me, destroy me. All I know is that I'm different...from most people. While most don't seem to have a problem with that, a good number seem to. Is it so threatening to them that someone so different from them can be happy in this same world that they, in all their childish insecurity, are forced to attack and try to destroy him? Am I just so different from their shallow, judgemental, pre-concieved notions of what a person 'should be' that their closed, myopic minds force them to take action to prevent their fragile misconceptions of the world from being shattered? How utterly pathetic. It almost makes me pity them.
My fight must go on. Because if I loose sight of it, they'll have won. This is my life. My story. And no one's going to take it from me.
But I've been distracted. That's W's problem to deal with. If I had any confidence in my work on project W, I ought to leave those matters to W...after all, I created him...and though he is an imperfect being, created by an imperfect being, I should let him to what he was created to do. Instead, I should've focused on my own fight.
I have a right to be happy, just like everyone else. I have a right to live, not merely survive, just like everyone else. And more than anything, I have the right to fight for all that...for a life, more than just an existence. I have a right to make my own choices and not to have those choices forced upon me by those whose only desire in life is for control. More than anything, I have a right to be me. THAT is my fight.
I've never really understood why so many have come against me in the past. I never sought those confrontations, its always been someone else trying to hurt me, break me, destroy me. All I know is that I'm different...from most people. While most don't seem to have a problem with that, a good number seem to. Is it so threatening to them that someone so different from them can be happy in this same world that they, in all their childish insecurity, are forced to attack and try to destroy him? Am I just so different from their shallow, judgemental, pre-concieved notions of what a person 'should be' that their closed, myopic minds force them to take action to prevent their fragile misconceptions of the world from being shattered? How utterly pathetic. It almost makes me pity them.
My fight must go on. Because if I loose sight of it, they'll have won. This is my life. My story. And no one's going to take it from me.
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