Lolz...it amuses me no end to know that there are some people who think that I can't fit in no matter how much I try. Really, if anything, W's founder routines should've erased that doubt. If anything, my problem is that I can blend way too easily...its been more of a life long quest to preserve my own identity more than anything else. I've been so successful that they just to that conclusion, but really, what good is it if people don't accept you for who you truely are? Of course, W will disagree, but well, that's what I think.
These days...well...recently, I feel more and more like I'm waking(just still waking) up from a dream. Its like I've been asleep all this while and only now am I seeing clearly and realising things. My dreams are shattering, but then waking up will do that to you. I now hold on to my ideals, know that they'll only be just that, ideals.
Among the things that I've come to accept are that I'm completely unappealing to the opposite sex EXCEPT as an intellectual whore. Wondering what that is? Check out this address: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/ladderintro.html
Its time I started dealing with reality. Love doesn't exist. I'm starting to wonder about friendships. In this world, there are only 3 types of people you can really depend on. They are: God, yourself and yourself. Other people are motivated by their own adgendas and will only help you as far as it suits them. The uni has taught me that, if anything.
I wish I was born handsome!! Then I'd use it to go screw all manner of people in whatever manner applicable. Of course, IF I were handsome, I'd probably have much better experiences with this world and I probably wouldn't even be thinking this way. I might still be screwing around, but in a much more pleasurable way.
Dammit...I should've stayed asleep. What a world to wake up to. I'd go back to sleep, but the damage is done and well, I've no idea how anyway. Ah...I just feel so heartless. Not a bad thing really...its a kinda light floaty feeling...lalala...
Hey, there's a thought, maybe the reason gal aren't attracted to me has something to do with the fact that some people are speading word round that I'm some kind of casanova or something. Thank goodness some girls have the good sense to actually ask me about it. With friends like these, who needs enemies really? And frankly, is it any wonder why I find girls better company? There's all the reading between the lines, but I sure don't get any of that supposed backstabbing. Maybe girls only backstab girls unless provoked. I dunno. Or maybe they're just happy to have an intellectual whore around.
I hate thinking of people as resources. Sure, it works for W, but not for me. It just sucks. However, that's just the ideal. Reality is different. Bloody hell, if that's the way people see me, then I'll just play the game...and I'll be playing to win. I've had enough.
These days...well...recently, I feel more and more like I'm waking(just still waking) up from a dream. Its like I've been asleep all this while and only now am I seeing clearly and realising things. My dreams are shattering, but then waking up will do that to you. I now hold on to my ideals, know that they'll only be just that, ideals.
Among the things that I've come to accept are that I'm completely unappealing to the opposite sex EXCEPT as an intellectual whore. Wondering what that is? Check out this address: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/ladderintro.html
Its time I started dealing with reality. Love doesn't exist. I'm starting to wonder about friendships. In this world, there are only 3 types of people you can really depend on. They are: God, yourself and yourself. Other people are motivated by their own adgendas and will only help you as far as it suits them. The uni has taught me that, if anything.
I wish I was born handsome!! Then I'd use it to go screw all manner of people in whatever manner applicable. Of course, IF I were handsome, I'd probably have much better experiences with this world and I probably wouldn't even be thinking this way. I might still be screwing around, but in a much more pleasurable way.
Dammit...I should've stayed asleep. What a world to wake up to. I'd go back to sleep, but the damage is done and well, I've no idea how anyway. Ah...I just feel so heartless. Not a bad thing really...its a kinda light floaty feeling...lalala...
Hey, there's a thought, maybe the reason gal aren't attracted to me has something to do with the fact that some people are speading word round that I'm some kind of casanova or something. Thank goodness some girls have the good sense to actually ask me about it. With friends like these, who needs enemies really? And frankly, is it any wonder why I find girls better company? There's all the reading between the lines, but I sure don't get any of that supposed backstabbing. Maybe girls only backstab girls unless provoked. I dunno. Or maybe they're just happy to have an intellectual whore around.
I hate thinking of people as resources. Sure, it works for W, but not for me. It just sucks. However, that's just the ideal. Reality is different. Bloody hell, if that's the way people see me, then I'll just play the game...and I'll be playing to win. I've had enough.
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