Had lunch with a old friend I've not seen in some time today. Why am I making a post about something as mundane as this? Simple. Because she's one of those people whom I've not seen in a while but is still so warm to me. Its almost as if the period where we lost contact with each other didn't exist. She's a rare one and its friends like these who give me good reason not to wall myself off. Thanks Ee Lin, lunch was short, but it was nice seeing you again. :)

What can I say? I like warm people. They remind me why I still bother meeting and talking to people.

In other news, brain dump:

I kinda realise my blog is really crap. Why can't I ever write something decent or witty or basically something worth reading? Bah.

I am being restrained by my parents...well, actually by guardian relatives, which include my Aunt. Like an eagle with its wings broken. Grounded. I could be SO much more without these idiots holding me back. Someone please shoot me if I EVER become a parent like them. Oh, wait...I'll probably never even get married, let alone have kids. And no, I don't screw around. My loss I guess.

I digress. The above statement was made upon the realisation that if I were living with my parents now, I wouldn't have had a certain opportunity present itself to me. I won't mention the opportunity itself because frankly, I'd rather keep it quiet and I'm not the sort to brag about such things, though I wonder if this one is worth some pride, heh. Anyway, my Aunt, though she does adopt the same stand my parents does is not as strict in enforcing it. Basically, if I was staying with my parents, I wouldn't be able to grow all the highland and cool growing carnivorous plants I'm growing now because of stupid reasons like "No means NO!" and "Because I say so!" and "Who keeps plants in their bedroom? This is a house, not a jungle!". I'd say that its directly because I do grow these supposedly difficult to grow carnivorous plants that I got the opportunity; my abilities with these plants have gotten some attention from the people on the plant forums and as such, my name just got passed to the right people. Should be helpful in future, heh. Anyway, this just proves that I have IDIOTS holding me back! If I wasn't defiant, insistent and if I was the type to be obedient without fighting for what I bloody want, I wouldn't have gotten this far. If I'd listened to all those 'reasonable' people who said it wasn't possible, who claimed that common sense tells you it can't be done...hah!

Which brings me to another thought: How many possible opportunities could I have missed already? 23 YEARS WORTH! Alarming! Utterly alarming! I could've been Lam. For those who don't know, Lam is a sec 4 student at ACS(I). He's very much into Nepenthes(tropical pitcher plants). Because of his passion, he was instrumental for the start of this pitcher plant tissue culture thingy going at at ACS(I) now. His parents were a great support because from years before, they've supported his interest and given him a few thousand dollars to spend on his Nepenthes hobby, allowing him to gain valuable experience and further his passion. Now all the teachers at ACS(I) know who he is and no doubt this accomplishment will be very helpful to him in the future. Good for you Lam! Nice going! The thing is, who's to say I couldn't have done something like that?

I have the passion! And not just for plants like everyone seems to assume, plants have always been my secondary interest. I'm more into animals actually. And in spite of everything, I started getting know as the plant guy in Uni...mainly because I refuse to join in the bragging games of all the arrogant know-it-alls who show off in the various labs. Anyway, before I get carried away...I have the passion!! At this point, I'm sure some of you will be smart-assy and ask why I didn't join Toddycats or something like that. Simple. Because that happens to be where all those arrogant FARKERS decided to congregate. I don't have time to play politics, nor do I want to have to show off just to be noticed. In those conditions, its highly unlikely I'll actually learn much more than I already do.

So, how do my guardian relatives come into the picture? Simple. "If you're interested in it, go and study it in the Uni", "Don't waste your time reading that(that refering to the various nature books my uncle, a rational THANK GOD, used to get for me on his holidays overseas) and go read some good books, like Enid Blighton's and Agatha Christie's", "This is a house, not a zoo/jungle", "Why can't you put that effort into studying Chinese?", "Don't waste money", etc. etc. With their attitude towards ANY of my interests, its amazing that I got anywhere with them at all. If any of my interests were indulged, it was followed by an EXTREME guilt trip and lots of emotional blackmail. FUCKING DISGUSTING, that's what it is.

Hello? How the heck do you expect me to obey your commands of "be creative!" and "don't be afraid to try new things!" when you freaking thwart me every step of the way?!? Not that'd I'd listen to you. I'll be ME and if I happen to be creative or whatever, its because I AM and not because you tell me to be. I'll do what I FUCKING WANT DAMMIT!!! I am my own person! The only one who has ANY bloody right to tell me to do something is GOD. Period. That's the way I see it. Obviously I'm not a very good Christian since I just can't follow the 'obey your parents' rule thingy.

Ah, that feels good. Just had to get it out of my system.