Just noticed that a previous post didn't get uploaded. Blogger no BAKA!!!

I guess I should've saved it, huh? Oh well...but let's just say that a few days ago, I was the happiest I've been in a long time. It was fun and totally enjoyable...I haven't really enjoyed another person's company that much for a long time. Yeah, you know who you are ;)

Though I have to wonder...it might be my own paranoia or maybe my intuition is trying to warn me...if what I'm thinking about happens...then...heh. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Oh well.

Anyway, he's my own spin on Keirsey's matching up of the various personality types. BTW, I'm applying this to friendships and mating.

Keirsey is right about how the various personality types pair up. Taking stock of all my friends, I notice that all those whom I've been close to at one point or another were all Ns at the time...and how close I am to the person also seems to be proportional to how strong an N the person is. No suprise here...N/S denotes communication and it holds very true with me...there's no long term/in depth communication with S people, at least where I'm concerned. Its not that I can't befriend them or that I've got something against them, but there's simply just nothing to talk about...most conversations lose their enjoyability as quickly as mere minutes, when my rational side kicks in and tells me I'm kinda wasting my time(I know it sounds really bad but if you're an NT, I'm sure you've felt the same way before, hehehe). At this juncture, I'd like to point out that I'm dead sure my oldest good friend, Joel, is an S. We've had common interests in the past and grown close through them...but we kinda grew apart later on...most probably due to the differences in what interests S and N people commonly persue. I don't think I need to go on about this point, any strong N will know that I'm dead right on this one.

The next factor which comes in is, surprisingly, the J factor. While this shouldn't be surprising if going by keirsey's theory and raw data alone, since I'm a very strong P, its not something I expected at all, not to mention that the people I'm closer to are some of the strongest Js I know. A strong P and a strong J...that's a recipe for disaster if I ever saw one, considering that my reaction towards most guardians is probably due to their J nature more than anything else. However, in the long run I've found that I actually get along far better with NJs than NPs and after thinking it through carefully, I suspect that its because I've got too much in common with other NPs in terms of opinions, operating style, etc. At the end of the story...I don't need a clone and when there are just that many similarities, it just gets plain boring. The NPs I've ever been relatively close to before have all had a very common trend...they're all rather extreme T/F and its that difference which actually creates something to talk about. With Kak, I was always the T side of things, while with Abel, I'm the F. Taking Abel as a good example, his operating style is the same as mine, as are his opinions on a number of technical things. Conversations with him on such matters tend to dry up relatively quickly(not that quickly though, usually enough to last a train ride home), mostly due to us being in agreement. Its when an issue with a T/F divide comes along that we can really talk. Hmm...I really ought to get an NJ's opinion of things though...it might just be that there are more NJs around than NPs. In any case, the trend with NPs and me is that we'll get along well right from the start, far, far better than with any of the NJs I've come to know. However, after some time, while a good friendship may develop, the lack of differences seems to prevent things from developing any further. This is in stark contrast to the NJs I've come to know. Take Kao, undoubtedly my closest male friend for example. It was only 3-4 years after I first met him that we actually got close. Of course, we're both very private people and extremely guarded, hence the extremely long period of a few years. Things didn't take off swimingly at first either...we're two very different people and stuff like differences of opinion were common. However, on hindsight, I'd have to say that in the end, it was the fact that we have differences in opinion that caused our friendship to grow stronger. How so? Well, it gave us a heck lot to talk about. So much so that we've been meeting up at least once a week to just chat...ever since JC. At least for me, it was a differing opinion, a new viewpoint. Sure, we had the usual problems associated with differences in opinion, but once we sort of agreed to disagree, it all became more like a meeting of minds...a sharing of different perspectives. It was refreshing to say the least. I think this pattern holds true for the NJs I know...there's always some kind of disagreement that'll pop up from time to time and strain the friendship. However, those slowly decrease with time and interestingly, once the strain on the friendship is gone, the friendship resumes, almost untouched and even stronger. Strange, huh? Interesting to is the fact that whenever I meet up with an NJ friend, the conversation always starts off a little strained...or perhaps mundane...normal stuff...as if it takes time to warm up...but in the end, warm up it does. :)

So which comes next? The T/F or E/I factors? To me, here's where it gets somewhat complicated. While its obvious why N/S comes first, what's the reasoning behind the J/P difference ranking second? I'd go with its effects on your life, everything from operation style to perspective and values. P and J have the most potential for conflict and as cliche as it is, opposites attract. The truth is, in most cases there's merit in both the J and P ways of doing or looking things. There's no single right answer because they're both right and wrong. In the case of E/I and T/F however, there are instances when a person will be forced to use either one, simply because it is a better choice in the situation. Like an I person being forced to use his/her E side at an important social function or an F person being forced to 'wake up to reality' and make some painful but objective decisions using his/her T side. To this end, my vote goes to T/F.However, here's where it gets somewhat tricky. This time, I rather doubt that extreme opposites in T and F will get along. Its not that there won't be the usual opposites attract factor, that'll still be present. However, in the realm of T and F, it has to be noted that this decision making factor, be it thinking or feeling is not something where two people can 'agree to disagree' peacefully. Someone's feelings will be trampled upon and someone isn't going to be happy. Similarity in the T/F style might actually be better than extreme opposites since less conflict will brew. I'm thinking that the best match would be to either have both people as moderate opposing T/Fs, or to have an extreme T/F paired up with a borderline opposite. Either case will have both parties being able to see the issue from at least partly the other side's point of view; in the latter case, the borderline opposite can bring up the opposing point of view and convey it in the style of the non-opposing viewpoint, thus diffusing a head-on confrontation. On this note, I've got to say that I've a very good mix of T/F friends, though among the ones closer to me there are more Ts.

Can you believe I actually typed all this out? I hope you're not wasting too much time reading it.

So E/I's last...interestingly, I think this one can work out either way depending on the rest of the factors. Es and Is can pair up nicely withut any issues or boredom of the other. Opposing Es and Is can pair up easily too. I'd say that it all depends on the other factors at work...so when it comes to friendship, I think this factor makes very little difference. When it comes to mating though, the opposites attract factor does have some effect, but I'm not exactly sure how to explain it aside from what Kerisey says about E and I pairings.

Taking stock, the guy i'm closest to is an INTJ and the girl I care most about is the same. I guess that says something, huh? The closest I've found to my own type, an ENFP(which I'm assuming is probably how I was before), would be...either an ESFP, INFP, ENTP or an ENFJ. Interestingly, I've got friends from all 4 types, along wih the associated issues. ESFP...I can get along very easily with both of them in the short term...but long term...heh. The remaining 3 have the above 'lack of conversation' issue. Of course, that doesn't mean that I can't have that have a very long conversation with them, that I can indeed. However, after meeting up regularly over a long period of time, I think a strain will start to show. I've seen it happen with a few friends I'm not so close to anymore, so...hmm...

As an ending note, I can indeed confirm a few things Keirsey claims from my own experience. Two NTs will tend to get competitive and while the 'winner' won't feel it, the 'loser' will. The reasons Kerisey provides for why NTs like NFs are quite valid. At least from the NT guys I know. I do wonder if NT girls like NF guys for the same reasons though...Keirsey is an NT and his wife an NF, so while the male NT perspective applies...I have to wonder if the female NT thinks the exact same way. Two NFs will potentially over emo themselves out. It ain't a pretty sight either.

Ah well...that's about it I guess.