Two in a day...but with good reason. I guess it wasn't a curse after all...in fact, it was something much better! So much better I can't believe it!! Yes, I'm hyper right now.
He's given me this key before...once. In my heartbreak and sorrow, I didn't see it. The same goes for today, I almost didn't see it. But I do now.
The story begins with W's creation. Back then...12 years ago...some evil, insecure children...demons...saw it fit to torture a poor boy into practical insanity. The pain, coupled with one of his own insecurities resulted in the creation of W. W is, as always, an evolving frame of mind...a brainwash with a mind of its own. A way to lockout emotion...but also as a way to force me to do what has to be done. Those demons took something away from me...many things actually. My sense of humour...my confidence...my willingness and enjoyment from talking to people...my ability to interract with people...and more. It ultimately meant that they effectively killed me...and for a good 12 years. You know that if the chance presents itself, I will still kill them without asecond thought.
Since then I've always tried to restore things to how I was before...and failed. I also became aware of a state of mind I began to refer to as "The Zone"...a state where I could do...well...a lot of things I couldn't otherwise do. Basically unleashing potential...memory, observation, creativity...etc. Try as I might, I couldn't place it...the method to trigger it. I could only enter it in the most desperate of times...and not even by choice.
Now I know what it is. The true nature of "The Zone"...is just me. The real me. The me prior to W's effects. The only way to bring it out...was to defeat W and break through to the Core Program and fracture it...to reach...me I guess. The key is emotion...the way to unlock the seal. That explains everything...in desperation, W drops in favour of focus.
All that's happened recently...well...Snoc did quite a number on me, but that wasn't enough to make me realise it. The guy up there...these past few weeks, what I've been through...completely broke all W's defences and so here I am. The problem was doubt...they made me insecure and doubt myself. I won't do that again. How long has it been since I last saw the sky? Thank you...Lord. Let the healing begin!
He's given me this key before...once. In my heartbreak and sorrow, I didn't see it. The same goes for today, I almost didn't see it. But I do now.
The story begins with W's creation. Back then...12 years ago...some evil, insecure children...demons...saw it fit to torture a poor boy into practical insanity. The pain, coupled with one of his own insecurities resulted in the creation of W. W is, as always, an evolving frame of mind...a brainwash with a mind of its own. A way to lockout emotion...but also as a way to force me to do what has to be done. Those demons took something away from me...many things actually. My sense of humour...my confidence...my willingness and enjoyment from talking to people...my ability to interract with people...and more. It ultimately meant that they effectively killed me...and for a good 12 years. You know that if the chance presents itself, I will still kill them without asecond thought.
Since then I've always tried to restore things to how I was before...and failed. I also became aware of a state of mind I began to refer to as "The Zone"...a state where I could do...well...a lot of things I couldn't otherwise do. Basically unleashing potential...memory, observation, creativity...etc. Try as I might, I couldn't place it...the method to trigger it. I could only enter it in the most desperate of times...and not even by choice.
Now I know what it is. The true nature of "The Zone"...is just me. The real me. The me prior to W's effects. The only way to bring it out...was to defeat W and break through to the Core Program and fracture it...to reach...me I guess. The key is emotion...the way to unlock the seal. That explains everything...in desperation, W drops in favour of focus.
All that's happened recently...well...Snoc did quite a number on me, but that wasn't enough to make me realise it. The guy up there...these past few weeks, what I've been through...completely broke all W's defences and so here I am. The problem was doubt...they made me insecure and doubt myself. I won't do that again. How long has it been since I last saw the sky? Thank you...Lord. Let the healing begin!
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