A person who I consider to be a demon will remain so always, except in exceptional circumstances. They will be forever exempt from any moral or ethical constraints which may be binding me at any point of time, meaning that ANY course of action, no matter how immoral, unethical or just plain evil it may be is totally and utterly acceptable when it comes to dealing with such people. Since I find myself no longer bound by the selfish rules of an uncaring god, it will no doubt be easier to take such actions with the necessary impunity.

Speaking of the god, its been my first christmas away from him and if anything, what really makes it feel good is the whole honesty of it all. I can finally be honest about my feelings towards him, instead of restraining myself and trying to force myself to ignore what I see with my own eyes and believe that he actually cares.

ALL the people who have done great damage to me in my life all, yes, ALL, are people who claim to be christians. Here's the one option which I've had to try and pretend didn't exist for all these long years: they're his servants and they've been acting according to his will. Can there be any other explaination to it all? As to why they all seem to be propering so greatly now? It be his reward for jobs well done.

I have my doubts I will ever go back. It was with naught but sheer will and stubborness that I forced myself to stay with him...and now it will be that exact same sheer will and stubborness that will keep me from going back. I tried my best and he cruely and saddistically tortured me all that time. THAT is my testament.

And so I step out into the world, knowing that he will probably continue to smite me each step of the way, but at least now I don't have to praise him for it.