Potential. Its a word that I've heard waaaay too many times over the years, most of the time in the context of me wasting my potential. Heh.

Now, I usually brushed such comments aside, but recent events have caused me to give it more careful thought. I've come to the conclusion that my problem has NOT been that I'm too lazy or whatever to tap that potential, but more that I've never known HOW to tap that potential. At least not on command. Which is freaking annoying to say the least.

Various events have been like pieces of a strange puzzle...which are starting to come together. My uncle has a theory that my brain works quickly, too quickly. Which is why my memory sucks: I simply don't spend the necessary time pondering over something to remember it after I comprehend it.

The next piece which adds on to this is that for the things that I like, I tend to spend more time reading/watching/etc. This isn't really by choice, I just *can* spend more time on it simply because my mind enjoys such stuff and does not just switch off merely after I comprehend it. My mind enjoys the embrace of the subject matter. This manifests itself in many ways, but most notably in that I can spend a long time slowly reading nature books for example. As a side note, I think it works this way with me and food...I'll tend to take my time on it simply to savour the experience, but that's irrelevant.

However, a completely different set of events has made me convinced that my problem is two-fold. It is not merely that the content is not being absorbed...in fact, it may all actually get absorbed and that may not be a problem at all. The problem is in the recall of the information. I can't seem to recall information on command. The more I try to remember something, the less able I am to do it. However, if I try and recall the information without actually trying to recall it, it comes up easily. This is most obvious in settings where it is not the information itself which is important, but the application of the information. For some strange reason, when that requirement occurs, I can quickly recall the information to apply it. Another setting which I can seem to recall stuff quickly and completely is when I'm under such extreme time constraint to give and answer that I have to just shoot the first thing I can think of, such as in certain exam settings or while watching fast paced game shows, such as The Weakest Link. In most cases, the answer I give in such contexts is correct, although I will later wonder how or why I know that information or be amazed that I was able to remember it.

All these pieces of the puzzle seem to fit together with my "zoning out"...periods when I do stuff which almost always turns out very well, but after I'm done, I tend not to remember the details of me doing those things...like presentations, exams, essays, projects, etc. I remember vaguely doing them, but not the exact details of what and how I did them.

Perhaps I've underestimated my mind and I should've been focusing on how to tap this potential...although I can't be blamed since I did not realise how it worked and got distracted by various things along the way. Curious. How very curious. It makes me wonder about what is known as 6th sense...perhaps within the human mind is locked a special kind of perception which also remains untapped by most humans. I wonder if there is a way to tap it too...and perhaps the bigger leap of the unexplained...could things like faith healings, telekenesis and all that other stuff be possible, just that we don't tap upon them? Its worth exploring...